Irreconcilable

Is there anyone else who believes the book of Mormon is true, but the modern church and its leaders are not? If so, what is your testimony?
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Ray Farmer
Jealous of and Zealous for the Book of Mormon1y

I came across the Book of Mormon in an odd (divine) manner. I had read it intently and became converted by its contents. I knew, somehow, that it was from God. I have never wavered for almost 50 years.

Someone alerted the district missionaries of my interest. They presented the discussions and we became great friends. Being very young and in a distant land, I assumed that they, being acquainted with the Book of Mormon and its origins, I was compelled to believe they knew what they were talking about.

I was baptized soon thereafter.

I was quite an unusual “scripture sponge”, as I was called and soon was teaching the Book of Mormon Institute class eight months after baptism.

When I exited the Army, I worked a spell to earn the remainder of the money I needed to go on a mission. I was sent ti Italy. On my return, I married in the Washington DC temple. I performed in many callings such as Elders Quorum President, Young Men’s president and I taught Seminary and Institute.

Yet, something didn’t seem right. I beheld the teachings of the Book of Mormon and just couldn’t reconcile the teachings of the church with that Book. I avoided Church History for every time I opened a church history book I was disturbed at what I found. I thought the temple worship seemed to be something very different from the sense of the Book of Mormon and Bible. Be that as it may, I was convinced that I was just not seeing something so, like many members, I put my concerns “on a shelf”.

While teaching the Seminary rotation, I finally came around to the year of Church History and the Doctrine and Covenants. Being almost ignorant of most of that subject, I jumped into the cirriculum with the intent to know everything abut my subject. I studied for hours every day in preparation of my 45 minute class the next morning. I took up the multi volume History of the Church (J.S.Jr diary), the multi volume Comprehensive History of the Church by B.H. Roberts, Essentials in Church History by Joseph Fielding Smith, Truth Restored by Hinkley, the related Institute Manual and, of course, the Seminary materials. I truly knew my subject.

At the end of the year, I came to the conclusion that I could no longer go along with the Church.

I could not deny the Book of Mormon, however. But I found that it was easy to drop the Church and hold on to the Book of Mormon because, I finally admitted, that the two are irreconcilable. Having freed my mind, my understanding and love of the Book of Mormon grew. Those doctrines taught therein, became crystal clear once I no longer had to try to make them fit with Church Doctrine.

I study the Book of Mormon daily for at least 2 hours in the morning and have made tools wherewith I can listen to and memorized it as the day progresses. The more I read it the more I am convinced that it is divine and that the church can not possibly be true if, in fact, the Book of Mormon is true.

I have no axe to grind. I still have a calling in the church and attend every Sunday as permitted by health and circumstances. I never miss a conference and watch devotionals. I participate in class discussions and comment with Book of Mormon teachings. I am probably most knowledgeable about the Church doctrine and policies than my fellow attenders. This allows me to actively participate without teaching doctrines I know my friends would reject believe.

Why do I still attend? First, my dear bride is a very faithful member and I honor my vows and her exceptions as far as I can possibly go. Again, I attend to bring my friends closer to Jesus. Most times I am the only one that quotes scriptures and if it weren’t for my comments, no one would bring up the savior at all. I make sure everyone gets a dose of the life, work and atonement of Jesus. I admit that I can easily divert the discussion along those lines.

I often get comments in the hall and emails telling me that they appreciate my participation. Most are very touching. All are sincere.

Many Quormons think that I am bellicose and some kind of hater. I ask you, does the above confirm those conclusions?

I originally signed up on Quora to toss up my conclusions about the Book of Mormon versus the Church to be countered by the scholars that frequent this space. Hey, I may be wrong, thought I. I sought counter perspectives. Sadly, nobody can answer most of my conundrums.

The Book of Mormon is true and many really great things are about to happen in its regard.